Year of me

Visiting Becca in Colorado!

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So last weekend I had a chance to visit Becca in Colorado!  She moved there last year for work and I am sooooo excited for her new chapter in life! She has come to San Antonio for visits, for Thanksgiving and Christmas but each time we really didnt get any time to catch up so i thought planning a visit would be the best opportunity to catch up on each others lives.

I flew in on Jan. 20th, it was a short flight, I left after noon and got to Denver around 3 or 4ish. Took a shuttle to Becca’s hotel where she works and bam i was reunited with my friend!!

Sometimes you take for granted the realist relationships you have with certain people. I know i am one of those people, i let life get in the way sometimes. One of my main goals this year is to not let that happen, you need to make time for those close relationships- Make the time, and Make the effort!

Gosh it was so exciting to have Becca and Alyssa time, we talked for hours, just like the old days when she lived  in San Antonio. I was so  excited to see where she lived and what she was doing in Denver and i have to say Denver was definitely a good move for her. Its good to see your friends happy. Yay Go Becca!

The first night there we planned to see Josh Abbott!!!! I was totally excited for that. They were performing at the Grizzly Rose in Denver! My first impressions of the Grizzly Rose was that it was different and i like different. Becca showed me around, it was a pretty big place that was definitely unique and different from other country bars I have been to. We got drinks and waited for Josh Abbott to take the stage. It was a pretty cool experience to see one of my favorite bands at a different concert venue, and to make things even more exciting, hardly any one there knew who Josh Abbott was. That was a total shocker for me!!

You see, we always see Josh Abbott perform in San Antonio or around San Antonio and everyone and their mama know who they are but for people to not know who they were was a total shock for me. As soon as JAB took stage Becca and I were total fan girls, we sung our hearts out to every song! We had a prime spot to the right of the stage with lots of room for dancing and singing, we didn’t care who was looking or judging, we were having the time of our lives just like the times we saw them at Floore’s in San Antonio!!

The rest of the weekend was pretty chill, Saturday we went to downtown Denver and just explored and walked around. I was pretty sick….geeezzz altitude sickness is a real thing. The next day my flight left pretty late so we drove out to Golden Gate Canyon State park and attempted a snow hike which was fun.

Leaving Denver I felt a little piece of me had come back to me. Ever since Becca and Christina moved and everyone’s life changed….all for the good dont get me wrong,but  its certainly  been a challenge to adjust to this new chapter in life.

It had been a challenge to adjust to my life after divorce and its been a challenge to adjust every time a new chapter started previous to that- Like hold on life……give me time….lol.

But its good to know that when you start to feel down and loose that spark, good things happen that bring you back up, I know this for a fact and have experienced it too many times to count.

All in all I loved visiting Becca and totally plan on going back to visit!

Now is the time in our lives to Live, Travel, Learn, and Accomplish! Never loose focus of what you want to achive. Life will get in the way and change things/plans but never loose the drive and never loose the focus. Keep moving forward.

Positive Mind, Positive Vibes, Positive Life.

Peace, love and happiness

-Lyssa

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Season of Changes-continuance of the Butterfly Transformation.

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I recently took a chance and went for an opportunity that just came into my life. Whether the outcome is good or bad, I am proud of myself for at least seizing the opportunity. I had an internal struggle of whether I should go for it because I am not the biggest fan of change. Then I remembered a life lesson, learn to accept the changes because they happen for the right reasons at the right time.

This time four years ago, in a certain chapter in my life, I was a happy person well at least I thought I was. I was a person stuck in a safe bubble not really living life. I thought I was happy and had all that I ever wanted and what I dreamed of, but God had other plans for me. God decided it was time to bust my bubble and break me out of the lifeless life I was living and flipped my world upside down.

At first I was in denial, I tried to patch the hole in my bubble that I had previously patched so many times and pretended that everything could go on the same as it did. I was in shock, numb of everything around me, I cut myself off from everyone and the world. I soon learned that the patch on my bubble could not hold any longer and it came off exposing me to hurt and anger. I tried to bargain with God, “Please if I change my ways can you please take me back to my safe bubble?”

When I received no response and knew that the looming changes would start to flow into my life, I was angry at the world, I was angry of those around me, and I blamed myself for the brokenness of my bubble. In a very short amount of time, change after change came into my life that I had no control over, I had to move on and learn to live outside of the bubble. This was not the first time my bubble has been broken but this was the first time it exposed so much of me. I soon lived in a numb world full of sadness, and grief, I had just suffered a great loss. I lived in this world of sadness that seemed to be never-ending.

It took a long time but I finally made it back to the surface and back to reality. I finally realized that the new changes in my life were awesome changes and that they were leading me to even more awesome and amazing opportunities. I came to accept the fact that I needed my bubble broken and I needed to expose myself to the ultimate vulnerability in order to confront my past and get rid of the negativity that it held. One day I woke up and decided I LOVED my reality and the changes that had taken place. God has taken me to a place I had never dreamed of, whether he had this in the works for me or not I am forever grateful that he broke me out of that chapter in life. I look back and think yes I could have been happy but I am even happier that God placed a curve in my path leading me down to a path of self-discovery and positively that has made me stronger more confident person.

Change is good, and even though it still is hard for me to accept I know its coming and it will come at the right time when I am least expecting it.

I feel like my whole life has been about perfect timing, I have been so lucky in my last few years of my life that opportunities and changes come to me at the right times. I like to think that my Mom, God and guardian Angel are all always watching over me and preparing me for what is coming my way.

So sit back and be grateful for the forever changing of the seasons in life and for the changes that bring on new chapters in your life story.

XOXO-

Lyssa

 

The Transformation of the Butterfly

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If you live in San Antonio, you have probably noticed the abundance of butterflies throughout the city. It’s the yearly migration of the Monarch Butterflies. Seeing so many butterflies had me reflecting on my own transformation that I have gone through these last couple of years. People say you change in your 20’s and change I have! With my last year in my 20’s one thing that has definitely imprinted on me is that the changes never stop, you always continue to grow, learn and experience (both good and bad) because life never goes as planned.

I recently came a across a beautiful quote that made me think of the changes of the butterfly.

 “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly……”

There are many moments in our lives where everything seems to go completely wrong. We huff and puff and put blame on the world and everything that surrounds us. We get so mad at life for not going the way it was supposed to go that we ultimately get exhausted. We get exhausted of the battle we are fighting against the world and ourselves that we surrender. When we surrender we start the transformation and become the most amazing beautiful butterfly. We learn to spread our wings to fly and learn to live, laugh and love again.

I was definitely fighting a battle with the world, an unknown battle where I was putting blame on life and hating myself. What is so wrong with me? Why can’t I be happy? Why did my Mom have to leave me so soon? Why can’t she be here to help me and guide me out of this darkness? Why did it have to happen this way? Why was I left with the broken pieces to put back together? Why am I so alone? It’s a dark struggle and it’s even harder to get out of if you don’t surrender. Eventually I  learned not to hate life, that I was not alone, and I should not to put blame on the world  and others. You see I was the little caterpillar searching for my place in life, feeling alone, unhappy, and with no understanding of my purpose.  I had to take time to focus on myself, to build on my self-confidence, to build new relationships and to take into account the tools I had within myself to realize my full potential to change MY WORLD. That was when beautiful changes started to happen.

Trust me the butterfly is proof that you can go through a great deal of darkness yet become something beautiful.

My journey is not yet over, there are days when I still feel lost but I remember that it is ok to have those days just don’t stay there, its important to keep moving forward and to not stay stuck in a slump.  We all have our challenges but the way we handle them is a reflection of who we are. Do not let the darkness over take your life, there is always a way back to happiness, surrender to the light of life, to the crazy/beautiful unknown of life, and you find yourself becoming an amazing beautiful butterfly navigating through life.

Live, laugh and love always.

Lyssa

Trust the Timing-My guiding light and adventures in Italy.

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As much as I have preached about staying positive and trust in timing I never fully understood it until last year. After my trip to Italy last year, I was on cloud 9, high on life and so completely happy, I had just experienced one of the most challenging things in my life.

My solo trip to Italy proved that I could do just about anything by myself, I was in a foreign country with only myself to rely on, millions of miles away from home. Yes, I had researched and I was as prepared as I could be, but I still had a fear that I would fail.

In the end, I had conquered my fear! I knew somewhere my mother was smiling down at me and proud of her daughter and of the woman, I have become.

I just knew my Mom was with me as my little brother dropped me off at the airport, I was a ball of nerves and second guessing myself….could I really make this trip alone?

I just knew my Mom was with me as I spent the night in Istanbul, Turkey, my first time ever being overseas!

I just knew my Mom was with me as I arrived in Venice that first day and watched me as I nearly cried when I missed my train for Florence but something inside me told me to be strong and keep it together, another train was set to leave within the next hour thankfully.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I got lost in Florence that same day trying to find my hotel, but a guiding spirit in me keep me cool and collected and I eventually found my hotel.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I traveled the country side via a bus ride and got to see the beauty of the Tuscany region.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I walked the streets and learned of the history of Sienna.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I climbed the 296 steps at the leaning tower of Pisa!

I just knew my Mom was with me as I had to step out of my comfort zone and make new friends while on one of my tours. I had two new friends to have dinner with on my second night in Florence, she made sure I was not completely alone.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I arrived in Rome and stumbled into the nearest Basilica and lit a candle and said a prayer for her. I knew she was there as I sat down in the pew and cried to myself. I cried thinking of how lucky I am to be in such a beautiful country full of so much history, architecture, and awesome food and wine.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I walked through what was left of the once glorious Colosseum.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I tossed a coin into the Trevi Foundation, wishing for love to come my way.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I made friends with an American couple who I had met on one of my tours and as I had dinner with them I discovered that the wife was a CPA who encouraged me to keep striving for my dream of becoming a CPA.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I visited the Vatican and walked the magnificent hallway and buildings.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I sat through mass at St. Peters Basilica and walked up with me as I took communion.

I just knew my Mom was with me as I cried on the train traveling to Venice on Thanksgiving thinking that holidays will never be the same for me.

I just knew my Mom was me as I walked through the streets and canals of Venice getting lost but somehow always finding my way.

I don’t believe she ever left my side, she was there every step of the way helping me and reminding me that I am strong, I am brave and more importantly I am independent. I believe by the time I came back she knew I was finally strong enough to let myself be happy again. All that I had endured the three years prior was finally behind me. Everything finally came together as if they were puzzle pieces. I had found my courage, I had found my strength,I had found my confidence, I found myself in Italy. The beauty of the country and the experience made me believe that I could conquer anything!

So trust the timing, trust the experiences whether they are good or bad, because in the end they lead to great moments of realizing that you had it in you the whole time. YOu had the tools to pick Yourself up, dust yourself off and make yourself happy again.

Think positive always even when the situation is negative, always walk to the light even when darkness surrounds you and always be grateful and express it every day.

 

 

 

 

 

Week 2- Its been a crazy busy month!

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I have been slacking but this should be week two of my blog. So I am about a month in to my 29th year and I added something to my bucket list that I never thought of, renting a car.

Technically this was added by accident (I had a minor car accident, everyone is ok!) but never the less I think everyone should at least rent a car before they turn 30, one of the musts that you have to do for adulthood. One memory I have of my mom is when she would take our family car (white minivan) to the shop for its yearly maintenance and she would have to rent a car. I always loved the fact that we had a “new” car to drive around in, and boy did she drive the heck out of it. She would pick my brother and me up after school which was just about the most exciting thing in the world! You see, I am from a small country town outside of Houston….Rosharon. Yeah you probably have never heard of it! Living in such a small town with a population of about 1,000 people meant that we had to go to school in the next town over which was Angleton which also meant that we had to ride the bus to school. Let me tell you…those were some of the longest bus rides ever! So having our mom pick us up from school was definitely a treat.

Other than that, I really haven’t checked anything else off my bucket list, it’s been a busy month of July and busy beginning of August. I hope that everything starts to settle down and get back to some kind of normal. I have started my year of selfie project…its harder than you think! You have to remember to take a photo every day in the same spot….whew!! Kudos to all who have done this, but I am excited to see the outcome of my year of selfies project : )) I have started to think of what I want to write about for my book…..more to come later, lol.

What I hope so accomplish in the next month is to begin to check off more items off my list or start the planning process.

Till next time!

XOXO

Lyssa